Thursday, November 09, 2006

My Biggest Fear


Right now is not knowing how this will all turn out. Could this be a phase that my daughter is dabbling in or will it continue to be a lifelong struggle with drugs and a downhill slide?

I've recently found out that she's been trying more than just pot. Her circle of "friends" is widening as she loses old friends. She's even less dependable, less responsible than ever and I'm worried.

I recently talked to a doctor about what's been happening, and they think residential treatment would be the best for her. There's only three months before 18 years old, so I'd like to try to help get her the help she needs, whether it be diagnosis of bi-polar, depression or drug counseling alone. November 21st is our intake appointment.

I've had some jobs in social service agencies where talking about residential treatment and substance abuse were everyday topics. I always assumed these kids came from really tough circumstances or maybe their parents just couldn't control them or discipline them when they were small. It seems so foreign to use those same terms for my daughter.

It turned around overnight it seemed. That's why I guess I'm open to the fact that she may have some type of mental illness and as they say, uses drugs as a way to self medicate. I myself use Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk and even THAT is a hard habit to break when I'm feeling down. My only side effect is being heavy -- I can't imagine my life if I used drugs or alcohol to ease my pain.

Some may think we're trying to put a label on her; give her an excuse for her behavior, but living through it, I can tell you it is real. It's a distinct and dramatic change that has occurred in the past year and it's scary to watch it unfold everyday.

Comments:
I'm so glad you are considering residential care.My daughter died at the age of twenty-three from drugs...we just did not act quickly enough.

My heartfelt Reiki blessings to you and your family as you fight this battle.
 
Marion -- I tried to write to you after you left your last message that this reminded you of what you went through, but the email listed in your profile came back undeliverable. My question at that time was how did it all turn out -- I am so sorry for your loss. What I was just going to post was exactly about fearing my daughter's death. I've appreciated all your posts and would like to know more about your experience if you ever care to share it. My e-mail is dgormly63@verizon.net.
 
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