If Moms had Blogs

The summer was a bit of relief for us, as everyone else was out of school too. It was normal and average to work a summer job, hang out with friends and enjoy time off.

In the midst of all that, there were weekly drug counseling appointments and medical testing for the ADD study. My daughter decided very early on that she was on the placebo, and no longer took the pills assigned to her. She would fill out her usage log in the car on the way to appointments and dump the pills in her pocketbook to mingle with the tobacco crumbles and gum wrappers. It wasn't up to me, it was her responsibility and one they said she could manage because she was 17.

She missed more than a few appointments or cancelled at the last minute, but because she was doing them a favor by being in their study, they were always kind and compassionate to any excuses or current dramas. I'd always get a call 20 minutes AFTER she missed an appointment and could only do my best to reach her and leave messages. During the last four weeks of the study, they started including me in the appointment process, and left me reminders of the date and time. I guess they finally figured that 17 year-old pot smokers with ADD aren't always the most reliable people to deal with.

In order to be allowed back into school, she had to take urine drug tests every other month to be submitted to a lab. I'd pick up the official results (received in 3-5 days) and send them by certified mail by a certain date to the school and also to the court. A few times she missed or cancelled the appointments, or worse yet they would come back positive for marijuana. That would throw me into a tizzy of making another appointment, rushing the results, and running to the post office. She wasn't sure during this time if she even wanted to go back to school, but this process was the only thing keeping that door open and worth my effort.

I wish I could say she was actually free of pot, but instead we learned that she'd scurry the day before to buy a $50 herbal remedy at GNC that somehow helped her "pass" the test. There was always a notation that her creatinine levels were low, which could result in a false negative. Each time the school accepted the results.

She couldn't understand why I wasn't happy about the "clean" drug tests as long as the school accepted them. I saw it as cheating the system and didn't want to give my stamp of approval on that method. I saw her use of pot as the beginning of her downfall -- the grades, lack of motivation, and the reason she was expelled and arrested in the first place. I wanted her to stop.


One counselor we saw for the possibility of depression/bi-polar told us that there were worse things someone can do than smoke pot. He had clients with much more serious problems. "See, even he doesn't think it's a big deal", my daughter grinned. I was furious that he would make that type of casual statement in front of her. I let him know that although there are many kids and adults who do smoke pot, it is ILLEGAL and the reason my daughter was expelled from school and arrested. So, pot got her where she was today, and it shouldn't be viewed lightly. Luckily, she decided after one more appointment that she didn't like him and we went in search of another counselor to diagnose her.