Saturday, September 09, 2006

Murphy's Law


Wouldn't you know that now that I've published my Mom Blog that my little drama girl has had two good weeks? As her Mom, I am ecstatic -- life has been somewhat calm and peaceful. As a blogger, there's no drama to report, and I'm actually keeping my fingers crossed that it lasts awhile.

I was one of those Moms who NEVER thought the things that had happened this past year or so would happen to MY child -- never. I raised her right. I only worked part-time, taught her manners, spent hours taking her to libraries, plays, zoos, and play-dates. I was on the PTO and even volunteered in the school library each week to do storytime for first and second graders, and then helped all her friends take their accelerated reader tests. I was pretty sure that not only would she grow up smart and beautiful, but it would be smooth sailing into adulthood.

When other kids got into trouble, sometimes they were kids that I already knew had an uphill climb from the time they were young. Sometimes it was a kid from what people used to call "good families" -- the ones with money or good local contacts and high profiles. It must've been overindulgence that caused them to stray -- too much time on their hands, too many things given to them for nothing. I admit that I was judgemental sometimes. I just assumed it had to be something the parents did or didn't do -- not completely their fault of course, but they must've slipped up somewhere. Those things happened to other kids, not mine.

Well, I can tell you that you NEVER know how it is going to turn out. I used to think it was a tried and true formula -- put in so much love and dedication and they will turn out just the way they should.

Is there anyone else out there who used to believe that or believes it now?

Comments:
Welcome to the puberty period ! But think about you, how have you been at that age ? Being parents is the oldest profession without any studies. I know it's a hard time I went trough that too, exactly with the same thoughts as you, good education etc. But now she is not a child anymore and the first and very normal thing to do to cut the umbilical cord, is to say NO to everything what you say or do. You can danse on your head that doesn't change anything. If you say blue she would say red. What I suggested (not asked) to my son to write down on a list everything he didn't like on me and I would do the same with him. As it only was a suggestion he finally agreed (first he took me for mad) and then we noted down every day what he didn't like with me and I with him. It gave amazing results and of course also hard discussions but on the end it helped. It lasted from 15 to 18 then it got a little better and I can tell you, I don't want to live this period again. Now he is 33 a loving and caring son (I would never believed that the way he behaved) and finally it's much healthier and normal to do the puberty with 15 and not with 40 were a hole family can get dammaged. Try to make the best out of it !
 
I'm the mother of a teen girl and you are nothing going through anything other moms are not. LOL I look forward to reading your blog.
 
I am so scared, because I'm blessed/cursed to know that what you say is true. Our kids are on loan. We can do our best, but they are going to be who they are going to be. I have a sister whose daughter was on serious drugs, and now they are best friends. I feel that the basic values my sister instilled in her, though her daughter strayed, got her eventually through. Know that you aren't alone . You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be you. I look forward to reading more.
 
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